February 25, 2012

Anonymous asked: What's the best verse on Graduation?

I had a dream I could buy my way to heaven
When I awoke, I spent that on a necklace

I told God I’d be back in a second
Man it’s so hard not to act reckless
To whom much is given, much is tested
Get arrested guess until he get the message
I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny
And what I do? Act more stupidly

Bought more jewelry, more Louis V
My momma couldn’t get through to me
The drama, people suing me
I’m on TV talking like it’s just you and me
I’m just saying how I feel man
I ain’t one of the Cosby’s, I ain’t go to Hillman
I guess the money should’ve changed him
I guess I should’ve forgot where I came from

December 30, 2011
How Can You Not Be Romantic About Baseball?

Watched some more movies. Wrote some more sentences. Handed out some more meaningless grades. Going to go a little more in-depth this time and attempt to flex some real critical muscle.

Friends With Benefits - This is a movie comprised of pop culture reference spouting caricatures instead of characters, yet it still succeeds (for the most part) due to the sheer likeability and undeniable chemistry of its two lead actors. Would have probably worked better if it were just one hour long scene of Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake hanging out. C

Crazy, Stupid, Love - A heartfelt and funny film centered on four well-developed characters played by four immensely talented stars. Everything dealing with anyone else (especially with the babysitter and Cal’s son) feels like a totally different movie. The final moments aren’t as strong as they could have been (and sometimes cringe-inducing), but this is still an intricately crafted movie with perfectly executed performances, especially by Ryan Gosling. His character could have fallen into the pitfalls almost any other playboy character does, but his performance is genuine and interesting enough to avoid the inherent douchiness of the role. B

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - As someone who is not particularly fond of its source material, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this film. While many of the problems from the book still exist (it’s a bit exposition heavy and has more endings than The Return of the King), many of the problems have also been eliminated (namely the endless sludge of boring descriptions of computers). This is an absolutely brutal film, which makes it thoroughly suited for David Fincher’s skill set. Although it lacks the substance of my favorite Fincher films, this is still a dark, brooding, unsettling movie centered on a fantastic performance by Rooney Mara. B

Moneyball - This was my second time watching Bennett Miller’s sabermetrics-championing opus, and I still can’t believe how much this movie works. Michael Lewis’s book is an engrossing tale about the battle between old-school traditionalists and forward-thinking Bill James disciples over the future of baseball. It’s gripping stuff, but it’s a story concerned with heady stat tracking and inside baseball talk; in other words, not the stuff of which most great movies are made. So it probably helps that so many other great movie characteristics are in place, namely an insightful and funny script from Steve Zaillian and Aaron Sorkin, an impressive dramatic debut from Jonah Hill, and careful but beautiful direction from Miller. Simply put, however, this movie wouldn’t work the way it does were it not for Brad Pitt. Pitt’s often thought of more as a star and less as an all-time great actor, but Billy Beane is another incredible character for an actor who’s played many of them. Pitt’s Beane is a man frustrated with his own limitations (both earlier as a ballplayer and now as the general manager for a small-market team) and filled with an insatiable desire for greatness, thus entirely willing to risk losing it all on something revolutionary. Beane’s A’s may not be as dominant (regular-season dominant, at least) as they once were, but what they accomplished changed baseball forever and satisfied (mostly) the dreams of one of baseball’s all-time greatest dreamers. I guess that actually does sound like a pretty good movie, advanced sabermetrics talk and all. A

Attack The Block - Director Joe Cornish garnered plenty of comparisons to producer/friend Edgar Wright when this film was released, but a more accurate comparison may be Steven Spielberg or JJ Abrams. The first comparison makes sense, as both Wright and Cornish have helmed intelligent films that deftly combine humor and action. However, whereas Wright’s films are concerned with commentary on some specific genre, Cornish’s film is wholly of the genre from which it derives. Its blend of characters, frantic alien action, and unique visual flair has more in common with Close Encounters than Shaun of the Dead. Impressive enough already, I look forward to what visuals Cornish can accomplish when given a bigger budget. Hopefully he’ll bring along a cast of characters as strong as this one. A-

December 26, 2011
Be Brave!

I’ve seen a lot of movies lately. These are some quick opinions I formulated about them along with grades for those who don’t want to read two or three sentences. There will probably be a lot of A’s. I like liking things.

Hugo - Scorsese’s tracking shots alone convinced me that 3D, when done right, can be stunning. A loving ode to films I’ve never seen but continually pretend that I have. A-

The Muppets - Nostalgia is a dangerous thing, but when it’s this fun it’s hard not to enjoy yourself. A little too concerned with the importance of its subject, but still an entirely worthwhile trip to the movie pictures. B+

The Descendants - Perfectly paced, beautifully shot, and incredibly well acted. George Clooney is inexplicably mad underrated in the game, and it’s nice to have Alexander Payne back making movies. A-

Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol - As a huge fan of the previous films, I have no qualms in saying that this one is both the best of the series and the best action film since 2007’s The Bourne Ultimatum. It has the elegance of DePalma’s, the ridiculousness of Woo’s, the character/story focus of Abrams’, and Bird’s own animated sensibilities. The Dubai sequence is my favorite chunk of film released this year. A

The Adventures of Tintin - At some point in the future, I will look back at this point of my life and be amazed that I saw two new Spielberg movies in theaters in less than a week. This is the lesser of those two films. Still, Tintin is an enjoyable ride that never fully capitalizes on Spielberg’s willingness to experiment with both motion capture and the part of his mind that created Raiders. B

War Horse - Breathtaking. Some people will surely have a problem with Spielberg’s unabashed sentimentality, but I am not one of those people. Slow moving, classical film making at its finest. A

December 8, 2011
What Did The NBA Lockout Accomplish?

  1. Teams are wiser just as dumb with their free agent contracts!
  2. Small market teams have a chance at glory continued mediocrity!
  3. Management really values doesn’t give a fuck about its players, especially perennial All-Stars like Rajon Rondo and Amar’e Stoudemire!

I am sure satisfied in disbelief that we spent so many months on this productive fucking worthless crusade!