Here’s the cast of characters (ages 6-13, extras not included) I have this year:

• the condescending Russian child model that looks French.
• the girl that told me I wasn’t allowed to say “yo” that I am assuming is racist.
• the annoying brothers that take the class four days a week even though you’re only supposed to take it two days a week.
• the girl that cheers after every swing no matter where the ball lands.
• the most talented tennis player who also happens to be the least talented sunglasses purchaser.
• the girl that hits all the other kids in the face with her racket.
• the chubby boy that spins and smiles every time he swings.
• the boy that knows all of the words to all of the One Direction songs.
• the spider-killer.
• the girl that will not shut the fuck up about Mr. Popper’s Penguins.

Everybody please give a warm welcome to your 2012 Brown Deer Parks and Recreation tennis participants!