jjberschwatchesyourfavoritemovie: Haha. Hey you guys. How are you? I am good, yes. Just been busy updating this blog like every damn day. Sometimes I am so busy maintaining this blog that I literally have no time to do anything else! I have bills to pay, taxes to collect, kids to feed, and 401k’s to something but I never do any of it because of this blog I am charged with constantly...
I don’t know exactly why I’m not asleep right now, but I think it has something to do with the parody of a parody twitter account I just created being the most satisfying writing I’ve done in a very long time.
Comedy is denying something that is blatantly, obviously true. Tragedy is...– Steven Soderbergh
A Fun Exercise!
Here are the IMDB ratings for this year’s Best Picture nominees: Django Unchained, 8.6/10 from 215,436 users, Top 250: #41 Life of Pi, 8.2/10 from 108,930 users, Top 250: #188 Argo, 8.0/10 from 117,692 users Silver Linings Playbook, 8.0/10 from 96,916 users Amour, 8.0/10 from 20,210 users Les Misérables, 7.9/10 from 81,747 users Lincoln, 7.7/10 from 60,874 users Zero Dark Thirty, 7.6/10...
As I walked up the ramp leading towards Northwestern’s student center earlier today, I felt a rush of blood to my head and nearly passed out. I was between midterms, this having been the busiest and most stressful midterm week of my undergraduate career, and it seemed like a nightly dosage of four or five hours of sleep and a diet consisting entirely of Cheetos and tacos was no longer enough fuel...
The key to college, especially in an essay-heavy major, is to remember that you are being judged by people who are fundamentally no better (or worse, usually!) than you.
I took the girl I liked’s best friend to the homecoming dance my sophomore year. I did not know her much at all. I purposefully pricked my finger with the flower she had attached to my shirt pocket earlier that night and stood by a fan for the entirety of the dance. At one point a few of my friends and I rapped along to “Stronger.” The injury was serious enough to sideline me,...
An E-Mail I Received From A Son Of Tom Hanks On...
What Up Everybody, My names Chester Hanks, I’m a junior theater major, but some of you may know me better as “Chet Haze.” Or maybe you dont, which would be embarrassing for me…..Anyway, if the sound of receiving this email on your phone woke you up at this hour, I sincerely apologize. Hopefully, there may be a few of you (like me) who for some reason just need to wait until...
I stepped on a nail tonight and my foot hurts a lot. I am awake and will be for awhile. There are plenty of things to do. I will choose the worst one. It’s strange to know that you don’t know some people you once knew, and you wonder if these people feel the same way. Everybody wants to leave their own mark on the world, but the world is enormous so we settle for a few people. We fail...
In eighth grade, one of my closest, nicest, and most thoughtful friends devised a master plan to rid the world of its malignant gay menace. It was a simple plan, brutal in its effectiveness with little-to-no chance of failure. The entirety of the world’s homosexual population would be shipped off to New Zealand. Once there, the United States Army would drop a giant penis bomb in the middle of the...
My grandfather was retired for the entirety of my existence in his life, and this provided me with enough contact to grow very close to him. He lived in a condo off of Lake Michigan in Milwaukee. It put you at eye level with holiday fireworks, and the glass of his windows muffled the bloodcurdling boom. It was magic, as were our repeat visits to the movie theater to watch The Lion King. There was...
It’s stressful for the most part. I want to make beats all night, but fuck, I...– I feel the fuck out of this Key Wane quote, as a fellow 22-year-old graduating in December who has ideas at night and classes in the morning. (via andyhutchins)
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JJ Bersch Watches Your Favorite Movie: Hi →
jjberschwatchesyourfavoritemovie: This is a new blog on the Internet. It is called “JJ Bersch Watches Your Favorite Movie” and its blog posts will consist of JJ Bersch watching your favorite movie and then blogging about it. I am JJ Bersch and your favorite movie is The Notebook, probably, though I hope not. This blog is… Here is the first post from a new blog I started because I was...
Kendrick Lamar - “Swimming Pools (Drank)” (TDE/Aftermath, 2012)
I Teach Tennis Lessons In The Summer
Here’s the cast of characters (ages 6-13, extras not included) I have this year: the condescending Russian child model that looks French. the girl that told me I wasn’t allowed to say “yo” that I am assuming is racist. the annoying brothers that take the class four days a week even though you’re only supposed to take it two days a week. the girl that cheers after...
Conan - Conan Writes Chicago Blues Songs With School Kids I saw Conan live in Chicago yesterday. It was the first television taping I have ever attended and reminded me that TV is magic. This is a bit I liked from that show.
Ab-Soul feat. Kendrick Lamar -...
The weather is starting to get nicer (kind of) and...
Anonymous asked: thoughts???
Kool AD - “La Piñata” (Greedhead, 2012)
Anonymous asked: Did the illuminati invent dinosaurs to discourage time traveling?
Anonymous asked: Are oranges named after the color or is the color orange named after the fruit?
Anonymous asked: you didn't say if you would like kanye if he were white?
Anonymous asked: What's the square root of the room your in?
Anonymous asked: Is Santa Russian?
Anonymous asked: What's the lowest amount of money you would suck a man's penis for?
brandonhasablog-deactivated2012 asked: Top 10 kanye beats?